We got off the bus and grabbed our gear. We slowly lumbered through the streets towards the port hoping for a place to buy a solid meal. We stopped by a small hardware-esque store where a friend of one of the EMTS was willing to hold our belongings while we waited for the boat to come. We laid down our heavy packs and moved back into the streets. The first place we saw was selling a dish that was made of chocolate sticky rice. It was one of the most delicious dishes I'd ever eaten, probably because I hadn't had something like it for quite some time. Chantel looked vexed at the idea of eating any more rice - chocolate or not. We moved onto a canteen where we ordered a feast of chicken, vegetables, and hotdogs. Olsen must have eaten a dozen red weenies. Despite filling up quickly because of my shrunken stomach my body just wanted to keep eating after neglecting it's urges for sustenance for four days. We left the diner and boarded the boat that would take us back to Cebu. Chantel expressed the same thoughts in my mind, "I can't believe we are leaving... I want to stay."
I thought about the Salvation Army and Michael's offer in Tanauan. He told us he was receiving thousands of packages of relief goods and needed help distributing them. He said we'd have a truck and the ability to further help the areas we had already scouted. We'd have a place to stay, food, and most importantly a flight back to Manila. At the time we had set it aside because we wanted to stick with ZEDRU, but with their departure home leaving us with no further action the offer began to ring in my mind. Olsen had even considered leaving Chantel and I to go directly from Tolosa to Tacloban to meet up with Michael. We later concluded that it would be best to accompany ZEDRU out of Tacloban and to return to Cebu where we could at the very least check the donation fund and purchase more relief goods and medicine to provide upon our return. It had been four days since I had any contact with home and I wanted to let my family know that we were healthy and relatively well.
Her words of wanting to stay provoked something I couldn't adequately express and share with her at the time. The work in Leyte had been meaningful, impactful, and we had all lost ourselves in the work. The rest of the world didn't exist, our pasts, our stresses, our problems... There only existed the goal to serve, to save, to assist. We wanted to do more, to stay, to continue escaping the "reality" we had left behind. No! This was reality. This was the realest experience we had ever been through. Our social norms, our cultural influence, our insecurities, our problems were nothing, they seemed superfluous. This was purposeful meaningful work that was as real as it could get but our bodies needed recovery. We were forced to leave the most visceral reality we had known.
All of these things weighed on my mind as I stood on the balcony watching children collect donations for the relief effort back on shore. They had asked us for money to donate to the cause and we all chuckled to ourselves at the slight irony. I had spoken with Olsen and Chantel earlier about the plan we had decided on. We were going to return to Cebu, recover for a day to stress debrief, after which, if Michael could guarantee transportation to and from Tacloban to Manila that we would re-supply, purchase more goods, then return to Tacloban for another three days. If there were no guarantees, then we would assist in Cebu. I felt good about our plan as I reflected on it. I retired to a bunk next to the others. Mum Beth was reading something on her tablet, Chantel had fallen asleep on her CPA study notes, Olsen was also passed out, and the others were talking quietly to one another.
The boat picked up speed and I felt a soft breeze blow through the open deck. I felt peace. I felt it was time to rest. My mind was cleared and I went to sleep.
Ah, PERFECTION!
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