Pagkakaisa means unity.
Well, It's definitely been a very different month than the last. A lot of changes have happened since half the island got transferred out. It was a really hard goodbye, especially to my comp, and the other zone mates, but as I said, my amazing batch mate Sis Spjute came out and then E. Poole is a stud b-ball player from SLCish, and elder Centeno was my zone leader back in the day just finishing out his time in Torrijos as a senior, like a gift from pres. It's definitely been different. Its kind of hard to explain why, but last transfer we were so united. Everyone loved each other, and it's getting there with this new zone, but it's taking longer and a lot more effort. And a lot of it had to do with some mistakes I was making early on and with my new companion Elder Almaden.
He is going home next transfer, and this is his first transfer as a zone leader, that was hard to train a zone leader after only being one for 6 weeks, so I didn't really know what to do. He is super quiet, really reserved, and doesn't talk much at all. Those first two weeks weren't awkward, but it was always so quiet, and we always just did our own thing. I remembered a story that my old AP Matt Park told me of when he had a companion where they didn't talk much, but they were cool because they understood each other and just let each other do their own thing. I assumed this was the case when in all actuality it was not. [You think I would have remembered my lesson on communication >_<] After our first zone p-day activity and other events, I noticed a division between the foreigner missionaries and the Philippinos. They would always group up and not really interact with the other party. I'm adamantly opposed to this, but sort of fell victim to it's snare wanting to become friends with Poole and catching up with Spjute. This played in the back of my mind, but it wasn't until I realized a drop in my teaching ability, and the Spirit was less powerful than with my time with Lebumfacil which spoke to my mind a problem in the companionship. We were open with each other about the work, and we held comp inventories where we discussed problems and ideas to improve, but there was something missing. I could feel it.
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| kawawa naman |
Once we had driven aways, I said "You don't care about the
work do you?" he replied "Why? why do you say that?" I boldly responded
"By this point you must know I'm serious, that I will not turn around
until I know how I can help you become happy and feel the Spirit, and
the fact that you won't open up means you don't really care about the
work, its not that important to you, you stand in hypocrisy from what
you said earlier." It was silent for awhile and he said "Let me off
here, I'll walk back to Gasan, and I'll teach our appointments." I replied
"Sorry Elder, you can't teach without your companion, that is against the
Doctrine of Christ and would be nigh blaspheme to be willing do that."
Another long pause. he asked "Elder Mace, are you really going to try
me?" I was silent "Elder Mace, are you going to try me?" He opened the
car door as we were speeding about 40-50 mph. I did not react, but
rather just kept driving not paying attention to his antics. He then
opened the door all the way and put his foot on the car door and
extended his body outside of the car and was half in half out. "Will you
try me?" I still gave no sign of shock, no true response, but simply said "O
be wise, what can I say more?" He got back in and slammed the car door.
My heart was racing, but I still acted like nothing had happened, I
continued "Listen, nothing is more important to me than my companion,
that means you, you are my number one responsibility, and I will do
whatever it takes to make you feel the Spirit and are happy in the
work," He replied "Elder, you have never had a companion like me," I
replied "your right" he continued "I'm very weird," I shook my head
and said "No, I'm weird. Do you think I'm weird?" he replied "hindi naman"
(not at all). I started laughing and said "What elder do you know would
drop scheduled appointments and promise to drive the car till the other
side of the island just to make his companion open up and talk to him
so he could help him become happy?" I answered my own question. "None,"
he was silent and said "I'm weird..." I interrupted him and turning
towards him with my eyes wide open, eyebrows raised and a crazy smile on
my face said "NO! I'M WEIRD!" We both started laughing and as we both
were chuckling, he said, "Ok Elder, I trust you now. Will you be
offended by what I say?" I replied "nothing you could say would offend
me," He responded "The real reason why I am not happy at the apartment
is because my companion is an American."...
ah...I had subtle feelings this was the case...but to hear it from his mouth meant two things. One, he has no trust in Americans, but two, conversely, he trusts me enough to tell me. I smiled. Honestly smiled out of gratitude that my comp would open up and talk to me. He went on about how he feels that I am not trying at all to include them, that I am the senior zone leader and that he is just a junior comp and so on and so on. I logged these things in my mind and made a list of things to now do to improve these aspects, even though it was just misunderstandings, I was already preparing steps. I stopped the car, and turned around. He continued explaining his racism towards Americans coming from past missionaries and their untrustworthy words and actions. After he had finished, I made promises to him, and thanked him sincerely for his honesty and the care he has for the work and for me his companion to tell me honestly what was wrong. I immediately corrected, and for the first time in 3 weeks, we taught with the Spirit without any hindrance. He had put his trust in me, and I have promised to not break that, and I will not.
Since then, things have been much better, but not all was right yet. That zone meeting we shared about the incredible new curriculum that is changing the world in missionary work. That was an incredible ZLC where I felt brotherhood and power in the priesthood unlike any other. We all became one in purpose in that meeting, and as we brought this new information to our zone, I was blessed with the knowledge to know what to share. At the end, I stood and apologized to my zone, from the depths of my soul I asked their forgiveness for neglecting certain things and not fulfilling my duties as a zone leader to the best of my ability. I apologized for the separation between American and Filipino. With tears in my eyes I asked their assistance to help me unify the zone and become one. I continued explaining we are all ONE under the banner of Christ and no race or blood or skin color exists in the fold of Christ. I expressed my testimony that unity is the very most important thing to me for the zone and that there is nothing more important to me than their welfare. I asked them to sit with their companions, as the whites had grouped on the right, and the browns on the left. They mixed, and I could not help but get choked up seeing their faces, seeing their desires to fix the separation as well. I thanked them and sat next to my companion, who for the first time, put his arm around me and smiled.
Things have been better since then, and the zone is taking steps, but it takes a lot of effort on both sides to fill this culture gap, but we are progressing, and I'm feeling that similar feeling we had last transfer. Its a hard test, but we are doing very well in spite of it all.
In investigator news, our recent converts are doing fantastic, and our progressing ones are just right
on the edge of full commitment and
desire to truly act in faith and join the fold. I'm so excited for the
work, and God truly blesses those who work, and gives extra extra
blessings to those in trials, especially if they are enduring well. I
feel so grateful for my past companions, even though they tried me,
pained me, made me suffer with a broken heart for their welfare, some to
the point of losing all hope, but I thank God that I met them, and I
had those experiences, so I could tackle an obstacle as hard as this
which otherwise I know would be impossible. I love my mission. I love my
companion, because I am trying so hard to serve him and make him happy,
and to put his trust in me. I am so grateful for God. I love my life.I love all of you.
-Elder Mace
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