This is the end... (23)

 Ito ang Katapsoan means this is the end.... here it is. Two years. My ministry in the Philippines is finished. To surreal.


This epistle will be shorter, considering my mind is exploding right now in a combination of bitter-sweet feelings and confusion. And I don't know how to properly express myself at the moment.



We'll start with training. Well, training has been amazing and the perfect thing for me here towards the end. It has helped me stay hard-working, motivated, and self-less. I put all of my focus on training him and preparing him for the rest of his mission and life really instead of thinking about going home and what not, and the trunkiness has only just brushed by me a time or two. The work has been so fruitful. This has been the most fruitful area I've had my entire mission, and I won't even tip three months in Canlubang. I've seen a lot of miracles these last few weeks. I've seen a lot of tears on both ends of the spectrum, and I've shed my fair share. One of my ward missionaries who always worked with us left for his mission last week. I teased him that he was my replacement, but reflecting on it, that really is the cycle. The process. One missionary goes home, another one is called. wow.

It was obviously hard to say goodbye to my friends here in Canlubang, but I've gotten so hardened to saying goodbyes. This is my 7th area, so the heart-break of leaving has kind of gotten callused over by all the hard times before. Regardless, this is one of my favorite areas, rivaling Gasan, but so totally in opposite ways. This being a wealthy city area, Gasan being an underdeveloped island. But Marinduque will always have my heart ;).








For my final district meeting I was given the chance by my district leader to give the workshop. The topic was prayer. In preparation of this workshop...there was obviously a lot of prayer associated with it. Thinking back upon my conversion, prayer is what was the starter, or rather, my relationship with God through prayer was the starter. My building a relationship of trust with Him is what led me to the Book of Mormon and eventually the church. As I gave this workshop I received a lot of incredible revelation as to how prayer becomes an instinctive affect of our relationship with God. I'm kind of struggling to put it all into words, so perhaps I won't, but I will testify that the start of any convert or any man desiring to seek a greater purpose will find himself in private supplication with the Father. After a disaster, a new birth of a child, a death, anything that sparks a curious inquiry as to the meaning of life and things in earth will lead to this humble communication. It is the start of everything spiritual. Communicating with the Supreme Being, interaction with the Creator, a conversation between Soul and God. Nothing is more powerful, and thusly it is the foundation of any religious relationship with God.

[I will now try to put it all into words. Prayer is a conversation. It is an exchange of thoughts and ideas between Father and child. Or... rather, that is the way it should be. Often times, for whatever reason, prayer becomes a repetitive recitation of thank yous and please bless mes. It is interesting to consider that prayer should be more of a discussion then a one way splurge of thoughts and feelings. How do you communicate with those around you? How do you communicate with your human father? Do you give thanks as much as you do to God? In the New Testament, 1 John Chapter 4:20 says "If a man say, I love God, and hateth his brother, he is a liar: for he that loveth not his brother whom he hath seen, how can he love God whom he hath not seen?" This stands true in all aspects. If you are not grateful to others, how can you be grateful to God? Prayer needs to be real. It is supposed to be an interaction between two persons. When this kind of prayer, often wrought upon by a very humbling event (death, birth, injury, suffering), is offered, then is when we receive those strong impressions, that overwhelming feeling of the Spirit and God's love. There is no reason why we can not receive these feelings daily. I spoke in an earlier epistle about the communication that can occur when you accept your vulnerability and open up your soul in honest commune with someone. Firstly, it should be done with God before anyone else through prayer. 

Ether 12:27 states "And if men come unto me I will show unto them their weakness. I give unto men weakness that they may be humble; and my grace is sufficient for all men that humble themselves before me; for if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them." This is done through honest supplication, an offering of one's self and soul to God. It is difficult to open yourself up to Him, because it is hard to even face yourself, let alone the Great Creator of all things...but if you trust Him with your sensitivity, your weaknesses, your despair; He will not betray your trust. He is faithful, forever. Once you open yourself up to Him and express your inner-most thoughts and feelings He will, as Ether states, make your vulnerabilities strengths to you. Prayer is the reconciliation of one's will to the will of the Father. He desires you to be perfect, even as He is, and He knows how to help you get there step by step, day by day, hour by hour. Your weaknesses do not disqualify you, if anything...they do the opposite! They give you good cause and purpose to call upon your Creator for help and direction. Perhaps that is why Ether states that God gives weaknesses to men, so that we might learn how to rely on Him. Prayer should be the most deep, meaningful, and energy exerting form of communication we offer. Maybe that's why God tells us to pray in a closet, I know if I was pouring my heart and soul out, I would not want anyone near me or watching me.

Study the most powerful prayers of faith in the scriptures, and you'll get an idea of how true prayer should be offered. I testify that prayer is the greatest communicative power God has given us. It is a necessity for Salvation. Without prayer, no faith or power can exist. Prayer is what keeps us connected with God, and it is the way we learn His mind. The Doctrine and Covenants is a brilliant example of the power of prayer, for most of those revelations were received as Joseph Smith communicated with God the Father. You are capable of receiving such direct answers, in time, but start now with an honest conversation with Him, as one man speaketh with another, and I testify that you will feel His presence. God answers prayer. Every single one. In His own time and in in His own way. He exists, He lives and "hears your soul's complaint" (Hymn 137)]


As I prepare to close my mission, I think back on those first prayers when I asked God what he wanted me to do. I remember being somewhat surprised by His answer. Before anything else... He told me I was to serve a mission. Before He told me to go to church, or to read the BoM, He told me that He was there, and that He loved me, and everything else has followed behind that, because that is the Great Motivation behind everything. Love. God loved me enough to send me here, and I loved God enough to go. God loves me enough to send me home now...and with tear-stained cheeks I will say to Him, God, I love you enough to go home. He knows what is best, and though nothing has come close to my mission as far as learning, growth, and progression, God in his infinite wisdom sees greater progression back where I'm from. I'll trust Him, as I've always tried to trust Him, Because I trust those I love.

My friends and family. I will see you soon.

-Elder Mace
(for the final time)